There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
