mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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