What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
