I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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