they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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