Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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