K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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