We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
