I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We got so high we made milksteak
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
