dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
