i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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