she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
