I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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