Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
