I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
