Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize