The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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