Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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