Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
