this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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