you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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