ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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