I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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