Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize