Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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