i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
