Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
