So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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