I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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