I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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