Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
