So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
