and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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