FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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