After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
