Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
