Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
