no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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