I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
