My sheets look like a crime scene.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
