why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
