i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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