I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
