we have officially mastered the walk of shame
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is this like a preordered booty call?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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