please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
