FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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