Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
