At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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