There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
