Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
