Ambien. No doubt about it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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