Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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