ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so explain again why im purple
no
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
