Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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