I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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