Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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