I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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