HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
