shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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