did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
