Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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