His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize