Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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