I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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