nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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