I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
