I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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